Fall is Here

Hello Friends,

What I am about to share is not comfortable for me, but that is the exact reason I am sharing it...

Some thoughts on what I am learning right now...a lot of this started during my prep with the Samuels,which I recently taught in the SBS, in studying I was able to see how many of the characters in that book have this same struggles as I do and how fear absolutely ruled the life of Saul, but in David we see just the opposite, he shows us how to live out this principle of trusting God…I have been learning what it means to Fear the Lord and to walk away from the Fear of Man, I know there is far more to learn about this in my life but what it has revealed to me is that the fear of man is that it's something which I am so easily ruled by, as I look back on life and even now recognize that I am so often holding back all of who I am or all of what God has placed in me because of it also finding that I often struggle with insecurity as well as many other ways I find I have been entangled by the fear of man which holds me back from living in the only thing that matters, trusting God.

I am often times held back by self-sufficiency this is huge in my life instead of reliance on God for the absolute best for me…I find being in control of my own life is something I often try to do more than letting Go and letting God.

Another thing is the fear of rejection rules me a lot of times, fearing what people think of me…letting others rule me with words instead of listening to God’s at times, when it comes to the fear of man these are just some things I am wrestling through.

I recently read a book called “When people are BIG and God is small”- by: Edward Welch, this book impacted me in a huge way, it’s all based on comparing the fear of man in our lives with the worth of the fear of the Lord; a quote that really impacted me was “The most radical treatment for the fear of man is the fear of the Lord. God must be bigger to you than people are. This antidote takes years to grasp; in fact, it will take all of our lives.”

In all of this I continued to ask the question of myself, “how am I to overcome (not master) the fear of man in my life?” … and that is by gaining a healthy fear of the Lord, and how do I do that? … by trusting him, that’s it, trusting this holy amazing God that loves me more than I will ever understand, that gave his Son for me, that is how, by trusting him and putting him first in EVERY area of my life.

Psalms 34:9 says “Fear the Lord, you his saints, for those who fear him have no lack!” This verse is what I am learning to live by, that by fearing and honoring, loving, trusting, believing his promises, clinging to him, and walking with him every second of every day, in that I lack NOTHING.

This is my challenge to us, that we would allow the fear of man, that so easily holds many of us back from giving God all that he deserves and from giving people in our lives a glimpse of how God truly made us to be, that we would let that die in ourselves, and to allow the fear of the Lord, trusting him, knowing him more, to grow in ways we never expected possible.

The most precious possesion

Hey Friends...

The most precious possession is held by so many of us, we often don't realize the weight of what it is we own.
Tonight as I watched the movie 'The Book of Eli', I was completely overwhelmed by the absolute gift I am able to hold in my hands each and every day, that I own the word of God. The man in the movie dedicated his life towards making sure God's word was preserved. (please use viewer discretion if watched, it's very violent)
I had tears streaming down my cheeks as I watched, because I so often take for granted what an honor it is to have what I do. What an incredible book, a book filled with the very thoughts of my God, our living God. Words that are alive!
As a Bible teacher I think I am often accustomed to reading the Bible, to mostly understanding what it says, to do my best to live out the conviction of the words on the page, to receive the incredible Love God has for me...and in that I can so easily forget the precious pages that lay open in my hand.
Easily forgetting that there are still those brothers and sisters in the world that don't have this gift available to them, they must eat on the same words daily, those words that they have secretly memorized in their hearts.
I am still processing what God is laying on my heart, but with heavy conviction felt the need to challenge those of us who are believers, to take the knowledge we have been given and learn how to carry out the responsibility we have as His children, understanding what God's word is meant for, that it's not for us to selfishly eat on and gorge ourselves...but it's for us to live out and 'exercise' what is written.
To feed the hungry, to love the widow and the orphan, to bring life to the dead...to give them an understanding that God loves them, that He loves all of us so much that he not only gave us his Son, but he has given us our history in words, he has breathed out his very own breath upon pages as a gift.
A God that violently pursues people, with Love.

Tonight I am challenged with not only the responsibility to read his word, but to do my best to live it out in the way that it commands. Meanwhile not forgetting what's in front of me, a beautiful melody written out in words.
If you pray for me I would ask that as I step into staffing 2nd quarter of SBS, going through the Old Testament and specifically 1 & 2 Samuel, I desire my hunger for God and his word to grow more deeply within me than it's ever been. That I could be someone that walks in the understanding that what I have before me is the most precious possession given.

He is Enough.

I want to challenge all of us to start taking those risks in life, to stop living in a place of dreaming for things that once were or things you long to happen but to step into each day with this quote in mind, that its not about just getting by in our lives, just breathing, but that its about experiencing those moments where it seems hard to understand the grace and love of God because both are so overwhelming. Its about saying yes to things that might seem crazy to us, but taking those risks because they really are the things that we will remember in our lives.
I know recently many of us have experienced such massive changes in our lives, this year will be marked with that moment that took our breath away, the moment I stepped onto the soil in Taiwan and thought to myself wow, I am home, and with that thought my breath was captured by the amazing goodness of our God, to allow me to live a dream that I have long desired... but I don't want that to be the only moment I have like that in this year, I want to have a series of these moments, because that is the incredible God we have, a God that never ceases, a God that loves surprises, a God that LOVES to give. It has looked differently for each of us, but what I challenge with you today is to live in today, to live in the now, EXPECTING for one of those moments, that they would become what is common, and not the opposite.
For those days that you feel alone, or the days where you desire more, or long for that next thing, STOP- breath ask God for one of those moments, because that is what we should be striving for, the future of the Kingdom, for God's kingdom, living in a way that is to glorify him. Living in a way that not only takes our own breath away, but gives life to those that need more of HIM in their lives whether that is encouragement, salvation, love, etc. He is enough, Christ is absolutely enough, He is.
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the number of moments that take our breath away." -Unknown

The Blurr...

Hello Beautiful Family & Friends,
Well I have titled this blog "the blurr" because that was the month of January for me. I did a course called the Titus Project which is trains graduate students from the School of Biblical Studies in teaching and preaching skills. The goal is for those students to then take Bible teaching to places where there is great need. The school consists of a 3 week training period and a 2 month overseas outreach. In the training time several teachings are given on subjects such as Preparing a teaching, Presenting a teaching, the seven intelligences and learning styles, how to teach inductive bible method & bible overview, teaching oral communicators, etc.
I did the 3 week training course but did not attend the outreach portion for various reasons. During this school I felt so equipped for teaching God's word, it was an experience that taught me a variety of things and helped me to improve my teaching skills in so many ways, based on several different evaluations that were given to me from staff and other classmates. We gave several teachings within the training course and I felt incredibly blessed by each time, even the ones that were more of a struggle for me to get through.
I really learned a lot about myself during this school, I learned that I have a new sense of what I am doing for God here in Taiwan, that I am called to several things here but in the aspect of being a bible teacher I have an excitement in my heart that is growing each and every day. During the school there was a call to surrender everything that you are to God, whatever that looks like even if it were death would we be willing to give up our lives for the sake of the Gospel, and I stood that day, believe that I would have that complete faith in God that if that time came I would be willing to give up everything for the sake of making His name known, so my prayer in that is for true strength and courage that when I face those times, I would stand by the commitment I made.
One other pretty incredible thing that God has been teaching me is on the topic of reconciliation, during Titus we taught through the book of Philemon, and we also gave a sermon, mine was done on reconciliation...and nothing really hit me that hard while doing that, but it was after Titus had finished (and I had time to breathe) that I was reading through a book that was based on forgiveness and reconciliation, and I realized I had a huge area in my heart that was holding onto relationships in a way that was incredibly unhealthy and I began to sit down and pray & cry as God was showing me these relationships in my life that I needed to reconcile...needless to say after many hours and days I was able to write some incredibly important letters to these people & have seen God doing some restoration that is true and real. I am so thankful that God is doing this in my life, sometimes its just a matter of being obedient, even when it is PAINFUL.
Although I could talk for a lot longer I don't want to keep you reading my blog for hours on end.
So I will close with a couple prayer requests:
1. That I would continue learning to speak Chinese & become a successful Mandarin Speaker :)
2. The God would continue providing for me financially! Praise God for all he has given me so far!
3. That Relationships in my life here would continue to grow and deepen & my relationships back home would sustain all that they are--that I could really find the balance in both area's.
4. That my relationship with God would continue to be first in my heart & that I would know him in greater ways each day.
5. That God would really be with my family as I am so far away from them, that God would comfort all of us & bridge that separation until we can see each other again.
6. Praying for Money to buy a Moto :) (I know that scares some of you) ha.

PRAISE REPORT:
1. My relationship with someone very important in my life is being restored & I am so thankful for that! :)
2. God has shown himself faithful to me EACH DAY!
3. I get to see my friend Saul in March, he's coming for a visit!